Starting Over Again
by LoveIsLoveandBrittanaIsEndGame
Summary: Santana goes through something she will always face in life wither its family or being in a relationship with Brittany. But what will happen when her life crumbles down and starts falling apart. Will Rachel help her through the hard times or will she have problems of her own?
1. Chapter 1

**Starting Over Again**

**A/N: My new Pezberry Fanfic. Now this one will be a bit more touchy. Santana goes through family troubles and relationship problems with Brittany. And Rachel goes through being lonely with no one to talk to or hold on to. Now this will be a little touchy for some of you. But I hope that you all will really like this story because I wrote this with my heart. And I have to say I may have cried a little writing this chapter and the next chapter. Now I will be switching through points of view. The first point of view will be Santana's at the beginning. And then will head to Rachel's point of view. So I hope you guys like this story because this one will mean so much to me. So please don't hate on it okay. Just enjoy reading okay alright? Well enjoy…**

**SUMMARY: Santana goes through something she will always face in life wither its family or being in a relationship with Brittany. But what will happen when her life crumbles down and starts falling apart. Will Rachel help her through the hard times or will she have problems of her own? **

**Rated: M**

**CHAPTER 1 – Two Different People**

***SANTANA'S POINT OF VIEW***

_To you, I'll give the world, to you, I'll never be cold_

'_Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright, I know its right._

I never knew what was hard. Having a family who doesn't accept you or having someone you love be a total complete lost. My whole life I've been hiding who I was. I was hiding from my family, my friends and basically the entire world. When I look at people who are happy and in love. Some days I wish that was me. But at this point I don't know who I am. I know I'm a different person then who I was a year ago. But this is high school. It's real life and right now I need to live in it. My family expects me to be this perfect child with the perfect boyfriend who can someday be my husband that as well can support me in anything. When I think to myself I realize that's not who I want to be. I want to be my own person. I want to be who I've always wanted to be. If you haven't already known I'm gay, okay. My family nor do my friends know that. The only one who really knows is basically Brittany. I can't exactly lie to the girl I mean she's my best friend.

"San. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Britt what's up?"

"I was wondering why you haven't asked me out yet."

Me and Brittany have had this talk for a while now. And right I'm getting tired of hearing it. She knows why I can't. And she still brings it up. Sometimes that girl drives me up the wall that I can't climb back down most the time. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But I've got to be honest with her.

"Britt. We've talked about this already. I just can't okay."

"But why?"

"Because I haven't even told my parents that I'm gay. And you know how they'll get when we talk about stuff like that. My parents are basically relatives of Hitler."

"It's just not fair San. You promised that you would tell them. And that was two months ago."

"Look Britt. It's just really hard right now okay. I'll tell them when I'm ready to tell them."

I know she's mad but she can get over it. I love her I do. But sometimes she takes the subject too far. She knows that my parents are against gay people. If they found out I was gay they would send me away to some crazy house to try and make me straight. Which basically isn't going to happen. For now I have to keep this a secret.

"Britt we should go and torment the freshman."

"San that's really mean. Let's go to the zoo."

"Britt it's like a blizzard outside. We can't go to the zoo in December. It's snowing and the roads are dangerous."

"Your no fun."

"Britt I'm trying to keep you safe, okay. I don't want either of us to get hurt."

"Whatever. Let's just stay in then."

What was her problem. It's freezing outside and it's in the middle of December. Theirs basically a blizzard outside. There was no way I was going to the zoo at this time. If she doesn't want to hangout she might as well just go home.

"B. If you don't want to hangout then you might as well just call your mom and go home."

"Fine. I will."

I rolled my eyes and headed to the bathroom. I didn't know what her problem was. But I was getting tired of it. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. All I could see was my pathetic self. I needed to come out. For me and for Brittany. I mean I did promise her I'd come out a long time ago. But I wasn't ready.

"Britt is she on her way?"

"Yeah she is. Look I'm sorry Santana. I didn't mean to ruin our little party. But sometimes I wish you would stop being so damn pathetic and just come out to your parents. I did and they love me no matter what I am or who I want to be. So just please Santana. Don't keep this up."

She walked out of the room leaving me completely speechless. Since when did she become so smart. Since when did she get words stuck in my head. Was I really that pathetic. I mean really. Since when did this finally become my problem.

"Santana."

"Yeah mom."

"Did you and Brittany get into a fight?"

"Something like that."

"What was it about?"

"It was about me coming out of the closet."

***RACHELS POINT OF VIEW***

My life wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. I never really had any friends besides Kurt and Mercedes but they have like a bunch of friends. Where does that leave me? Was this a sign telling me that I was going to die alone and that I'm going to become a cat lady? I mean I hate cats no offense to the cat lovers but really. I don't see what so great about it. I never had a first kiss. I never had a first boyfriend. And I've never had a perfect life. I was bullied every day in school and by bullied I mean slushied and thrown into trash cans and stuffed into lockers. I always had to call either Mercedes or Kurt to come and save me. Sometimes they'd help me but the other times they would go off and hang with other people. I mean what kind of friends are those when they are in need of help? I might as well live to the point where I'm going to be alone forever.

"Rachel. Are you even listening?"

"What?"

"I said why do you keep staring at Finn? He's nothing but a tree stump."

"Kurt he's your step brother."

Oh god. I'm going to die along. I need someone to love. I need someone to hold. I need someone to love me for me! Not for some freak who wears animal sweaters and really high knee socks. Except my wardrobe was basically ruined by every slushy thrown my way.

"I'm sorry Kurt. I'm going to excuse myself and go to the bathroom."

"Don't be too long. Lunch is almost over and I don't want to be alone when they start throwing slushies."

"I won't be too long."

I headed towards the bathroom when I heard a faint crying. I didn't know who was crying but when I peeked a little around into the bathroom I had seen the girl who had been tormenting me my entire life. Santana Lopez. There was something wrong. There was something wrong. I have never seen Santana cry before. I wanted to know why she was so sad. Maybe I could be friends with her. Maybe she'll let me be her friend. I walked a little closer and had held my breath in till I finally let go.

"Santana?"

"What do you want Berry."

"I saw you crying and I was wondering if you were okay?"

"I'm fucking fantastic."

I have never seen this part of Santana before. This was basically a soft side of her. Maybe something happened in her family. Or maybe she's fighting with Brittany. She'd had known them since they were in sixth grade.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."

I walked out and left Santana in the bathroom crying. Before I could go back to the lunch room I was being pulled around the hall way and into a janitor's closet. I didn't know who it was but it kind of scared me. When I finally realized who was pulling me into the closet I couldn't help but feel a little confused. Why was Santana pulling me into a janitor's closet. Oh my god. I hope she doesn't kill me.

"What the hell Santana. You can't just drag people around whenever you want to. I'm not toy."

"Look. If I tell you something you promise you won't say a word?"

"I promise."

Santana seemed a little nervous. When she lifted her shirt a little I had never opened my eyes as big as I was right now. Santana had bruises all on her stomach. What the hell did she do get in a car accident or into a big fight.

"Oh my god Santana. What happened? Did someone punch you?"

When I looked at her she started crying again. That may have answered my question. Someone had abruptly hurt her. I needed to know who this was. This was not right. This was abuse.

"Santana. Who did this to you?"

"My.. M-m-mom."

I didn't know what to say. Why would someone beat up her own daughter and for what? I mean there had to be a reason why her mom had hurt her so bad.

"Santana. Why did your mom punch you?"

"Be-because I told her I was gay."

"Are you gay?"

She nodded and I wrapped my arms around her. She needed comfort and she needed it really bad. She cried in my arms and I felt so sad for her. I wanted to cry with her but I needed to show her that I was here for her and that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm going to help you okay. If you need me. You can always come to my house. No matter what the time is."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why shouldn't I? You don't want me to be nice?"

"No it's just. I've never nice to you. I'm always a bitch to you."

"Santana look. It's the past. It's forgotten."

For the next couple of minutes we had sat down and talked about each other and what our passions were. Santana's was interesting. She really wanted to become a Lawyer and become a doctor as well. I don't know how she does it but she is going to go far. I know it. I had told her I wanted to be on Broadway. But she knew that so it's whatever I guess.

"Santana. You know you can always come and talk to me whenever you feel like talking."

"I don't know. You should hate me Rachel."

"Why would I hate you Santana?"

"Because I'm gay."

"I don't care. If you haven't noticed. I have to gay dads. I will always like you the way you are not matte if your gay or not. I'm not really a judgy person about that kind of stuff."

"Thank you for understanding and listening to me."

"What are friends for."

The rest of the day had gone by real slow but at a nice pace. Santana finally realized that she had someone by her side through this. And she knew I am a trustable person. I just wish she tell someone about her mom hitting her. It's just. It's not right. I don't like seeing her like this. It's just heartbreaking…

**A/N: So what did you guys think? Yay? Nay? Well let me know what you think! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Starting Over Again**

**A/N: Sorry for that long wait. I was having troubles with my microsoft word. But I finally mangaged to get it up and running. Anyways this chapter might be a little boring but this is how I want to start of the story. Not total borning but some how more interesting so that you guys can read it. Anyways I've been working on a new Pezberry story. I really want to put it up but I'm not sure if I want to yet. But anyways enjoy the story and hope you will all enjoy. **

**SUMMARY: Santana goes through something she will always face in life wither its family or being in a relationship with Brittany. But what will happen when her life crumbles down and starts falling apart. Will Rachel help her through the hard times or will she have problems of her own? **

**Rated: M**

**CHAPTER 1 – Can We Be Friends?**

***RACHEL'S POINT OF VIEW***

After learning about what happened to Santana. I couldn't help but wonder if I should confront her about it or be open about it. I know I told her I wouldn't tell and I'm going to keep that promise. But maybe she should tell someone herself. Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. I'm worried about her. And I do care. I just, maybe I should just not get involved at all.

"Hey Rachel."

I looked up from my locker and smiled when I saw Santana. She looked a little sad and I could tell she needed someone to talk to at this moment.

"Well hello Santana. What can I do for you?"

"Do you think we could go talk somewhere... Private?"

"Sure Santana. I would love to. Where would you want to talk at?"

"Um the choir room?"

"Lead the way."

***SANTANA'S POINT OF VIEW***

We headed to the choir room and we stayed at least a bit of quiet. I didn't like the girls over obbssed chattering but she was actually kind of cool. I mean for someone who likes animal sweaters I guess. I mean those sweaters look like something my grandmother could wear. I mean really is she a toddler or something? I juts don't get why she doesn't dress into this century instead of last century.

When we arrived to the choir room we both sat down next to each other on the risers. We stayed silent for a minute until she had spoken about doing something after we graduate after high school. I just shrugged and kept my thoughts to myself. She knew we weren't here to talk about graduation which is like nine months away. But I wanted to talk to her about being friends and shit. But she wouldn't stop talking. Like seriously. Someone should a cork in her mouth just to make her shut up.

"Rachel can you please shut up for five minutes."

"Sorry. I was rambling again wasn't I?"

"You were. And I need to tell you something okay. But you have to swear to not interupt till i'm at least finish okay?"

"Okay. I swear I won't speak till your done."

"Good."

***RACHEL'S POINT OF VIEW***

I was so nervous to say what I had to say. I was shaking from hands to feet. I know it's going to be a little weird talking abotu my feelings but I really want Rachel to trust me and I already trust her so why not bury the hatchet right? I just hope she can forgive me for all the things that i've done to her. I just want to be friends. That's all I'm going to ask. Hell she doesn't even know I have a crush on her. I've had a crush on her since the seventh grade. So basically what I'm trying to do here is to try and be her friend.

"Rachel. I just wanted to thank you for not telling anyone about my.. You know accident." She nodded and kept listening. "Rachel... I want to apologize to you. I know I've been a total complete bitch to you and i'm really sorry. I'm sorry for being so mean and throwing slushies at you. I hated it treating you like that. But what I'm trying to say is that I hope we can be friends. If you want to anyways."

"Santana I would love to be friends with you."

Santana had the most happiest face you could ever seen. I mean she looked like she was having a good day. To me she's just another human being trying to get out of this hell hole. But I have a feeling that we are going to be great friends. And somewhere in the near future maybe we could be more than just friends. I know having feelings for the cheeleader is risky but right now I'm going to keep it a secret. Some day... I'll tell her how I really feel.

***SANTANA'S POINT OF VIEW***

I'm really starting to like Rachel. I mean she is understanding what i'm going through and what my feelings are. She's not pushing me into doing anythhing that I don't want to. She's really going to be a great friend. I just know it. But right now what I'm feeling for her is something a little different. This feeling is the exact same feeling as I had with Brittany. But If I told her I liked her then she'd probably just turn me down like Brittany did. And I can't let that happen. She's my friend and I don't want to ruin it when I just started it.

"Rachel. Do you wanna... Maybe hang out later?"

"Sure that sounds great"

"Cool. I guess I'll text you then."

She nodded and headed to class. Rachel maybe a crush.. But she's more then just a crush to me. She's how you say... The love of my life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Starting Over Again**

**A/N: Alright. I think I might have a good story coming for this one. And I promise to get my facts straight this time. And with my other stories! Sooo enjoy and I hope you all like it! :)**

**SUMMARY: Santana goes through something she will always face in life wither its family or being in a relationship with Brittany. But what will happen when her life crumbles down and starts falling apart. Will Rachel help her through the hard times or will she have problems of her own? **

**Rated: M**

**CHAPTER 3 - The Day When I Have The Urge To Kiss You**

***SANTANA'S POINT OF VIEW* **

I had never been so ashamed in my life. I couldn't understand why I was such a bitch to Rachel. I mean we've known each other since Kindergarten and we we're friends than. But once Quinn came to town. I guess that's when everything changed. Quinn had me and Brittany follow her around like puppy's. Not lost puppies. Like puppies. Brittany would get confused but I'd explain why we weren't lost puppies. She had finally got it once I had to repeat it to her over and over again. Sometimes I didn't even like the things we did to Rachel. I didn't even like any of it. Neither did Brittany. We just followed Quinn and did things Quinn wanted to do. I mean we didn't even get a say in it. It was really exhausting. But now that i'm friends with Rachel. I have to be the greatest friend she had ever had. Well... She's got Kurt and Tina... Sometimes Mercedes but she's always busy with Sam. So now it's time to make it up to her. And I will do anything... Anything.

I was heading to gym when I heard someone in the choir room. When I looked inside I had seen Rachel in there. I opened the door and quietly went and stood by Mr. Schues office. She was singing _Being Good Isn't Good Enough_. I'd have to say it was a good song. So I just stood there and listening to her sing.

_Being good isn't good enough _

_Being good won't be good enough _

_When I fly, I must fly extra high _

_And I'll need special wings so far to go _

_From so far below _

_Should I try? _

_Am I strong enough? _

_Is there time, have I long enough? _

_Gotta fly and if I fall _

_That's the way it's gotta be _

_There's no other way for me _

_Being good just won't be good enough _

_I'll be the best or nothing at all _

_I'll try, am I strong enough? _

_Is there time, have I long enough? _

_Gotta fly and if I fall _

_That's the way it's gotta be _

_There's no other way for me _

_Being good just won't be good enough _

_I'll be the best or nothing at all _

Once the song was over I had a smile on my face and started clapping making her jump in surprise.

***RACHEL'S POINT OF VIEW***

When I heard clapping I literally almost had a heart attack. When I turned to see who it was I couldn't help but form the smile on my face. It was Santana. Standing there. Clapping for me. I'd have to say this girl is getting more and more surprising everyday. She has the charm to charm me to anything.

"God Santana. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry. I heard music coming from inside so... You really did good on that song Rach. I mean it was really good."

I couldn't help but blush. She know's how to make me smile.

"Thank you Santana... Would you like to sing a song with me?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I think our voices go great together."

"Okay. I think I got a song in mind."

"What song?"

Santana winked at both me and the band. I couldn't help smile.

(Santana **Bold**. Rachel _Italics_ and Both _**Bold and Italics**_)

**You know I'm gon get ya, yeah**

**Whatever it takes to get there**

**No I won't drop you**

**Like everybody else does**

**Forget about your friends they don't care where we go**

**If they do, we'll get lost in a crowd of people**

**I've been looking for you forever baby we go**

**Together baby we go, we go**

**In this crazy world of choices I've only got a few**

**Either you're coming with me, or I'm coming with you**

**Cause I finally found, I finally found you**

**You never have to worry if what I say is true**

**Girl I've been looking for you**

**And when I saw you I knew**

**That I finally found, I finally found you**

Santana had been twirling me around during the part of the break before I start singing. She was a great dancer and a good singer.

_I'm coming I'll get ya, yeah_

_We have a connection, that's right_

_Cause girl I'm not letting go_

_I'm gonna make you feel right, oh yea_

_Forget about your friends they don't care where we go_

_If they do, we'll get lost in a crowd of people_

_I've been looking for you forever baby we go_

_Together baby we go, we go_

_In this crazy world of choices I've only got a few_

_Either you're coming with me, or I'm coming with you_

_Cause I finally found, I finally found you_

_You never have to worry if what I say is true_

_Girl I've been looking for you_

_And when I saw you I knew_

_That I finally found, I finally found you_

_**I finally found, I finally found you**_

**Yeah, so can I get love, too much to ask for**

**Really so tough**

**Find yourself moving with sex of the drums**

**Got my hands full, grabbin' all these girls, girls**

**Hands up, hands up, dance floor chillin' while I hold two cups**

**Can't stop spilling, cause I'm drunk as fuck**

**And my song comes on, and the club goes nuts**

**Every time the side goes, seems to ya sleep, best that to ya know**

**Running around, and doing all these shows**

**Round the whole globe, I come, and you go girl**

**And you need to think of it**

**Just wrap for the night, baby live a bit**

**With a place to hit, and your pants to zip**

**You can make a scene and party, are you into it**

_**In this crazy world of choices I've only got a few**_

_**Either you're coming with me, or I'm coming with you**_

_**Cause I finally found, I finally found you**_

_**Finally finally finally found you**_

_**Finally finally finally found**_

_**Finally found, I finally found you**_

**You know I'm gonna get... ya**

***SANTANA'S POINT OF VIEW***

I looked at her like I have finally fallen in love with her. So the big shot I am I took her by surprise and kissed her. She looked startled but she just all a sudden started kissing back. It was a good make out but when I realized what I was doing I stopped and she looked at me confused.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't. I shouldn't have done that."

"Santana it's fine."

"It's not. Look I'll see you later."

"Santana."

I left in such a hurry that I didn't even get the chance to say I love you. I know she might not love me back but it's true. Sometimes I wish I could just go back and time and kiss her one more time. I guess for now I just have to deal with my heart and just avoid Rachel tell I know what I want. And what she wants. I owe her and myself at least that.

**A/N: So what did you guys think? Was it good? I hope so. Oh... A new story is in the works. I don't know how it's going to turn out until I re read it and edit it... But once it's finished i'll upload it! I don't have a name for it yet. But once I do i'll let you all know! Soooooo let me know what ya'll thought of this chapter and yeah! :) **


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